10 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

What are the things needed to keep your relationship healthy?  

Most people would answer that question with the big four: Trust, fidelity, communication, and conflict resolution.  

While these are needed in order to have a successful relationship, there are many others that should be considered.  These, in conjunction with the big four, will increase your relationship satisfaction.

I recently stumbled across an article that sums up what most healthy relationships need.  I totally agree and could not have said it better myself.

10 Truths To Keep Your Relationship Healthy   

I Can Forgive, But I Won't Forget...

I heard this statement during a conversation with a family member after hearing a sermon on forgiveness.  My pastor spoke on its true meaning and stated that in order to be forgiven for our sins, we must forgive the sins of others.  The concept is simple enough, but the action proves to be one of the most difficult tasks faced in a relationship.

Disappointment and heartache encountered in relationships are often the direct result of another persons actions.  An unfaithful partner, a scheming friend, an absent parent, or a disrespectful child can test our patience and willingness to forgive.  When we are betrayed, the event lingers in our minds and can appear in random thoughts.  We may even dream about the incident and how we could, would, or should have reacted.  Our spirits are scarred.  On those occasions that we are able to forgive, the above mantra rings true..."I can forgive, but I won't forget."

Forgiveness is necessary when we are wronged and is the basis for maintaining authentic relationships.  To truly forgive, we must also forget.  In order for healing to occur, the event and any negative feelings about the offender should be free from our thoughts.  True forgiveness is not meant for the offender, but for the offended.  Therefore, forgetting is a key step in the pathway to forgiveness.

In order to forget, we must understand the true meaning of forgiveness.   

Forgiveness of others IS NOT:

• An acceptance of the behavior
• A license to be offended again
• A sign of weakness

Forgiveness of others IS: 

• An expression of self-love
• A necessary step toward healing
• The only way YOU will be forgiven in the future 

Try forgiving and forgetting those who offend(ed) you.  Most likely they have moved on and don't remember or care what they did.  Shouldn't you enjoy the same freedom?  


   

Are You Dating A Mr. Right Now?

In a previous post, I discussed the phenomenon of women dating Mr. Right Now instead of waiting for Mr. Right.  But I realize that many women do not know the difference.  Although it is not an exact science and ALL of these may not apply, here is my take on the differences between the two men.

Mr. Right Now:

• He does not want a relationship with you
• Your friends and/or family question why you are with him
• He mostly communicates with you through Facebook and text messages
• You feel that you are with him out of necessity
• He will not discuss the present or the future of your relationship
• He would be Mr. Right if he would just change _____________ (fill in the blank)
• You can not imagine being in a relationship with him
• He can not tell you why he likes you or only refers to what you do for him
• He has a couple of your relationship deal-breakers
• You consistently question the validity of your relationship 
• His mother/friends tell you that you are too good for him
• He comments on how different you are from the women he usually dates
• You do not feel good when you are with him
• Things he says/does can change your mood or feelings about yourself
• He does not respect your time and plans things last minute with you
• You ask other people what they think about him 
• You get an empty feeling when he is gone AND when he is there
• Your behavior changes when you are with him
• Your need to be loved outweighs your feelings toward him

Mr. Right:

• You do not question his intentions toward you
• You do not need others to approve of your relationship  
• He can/will discuss a future with you
• You are completely yourself around him
• He does not go against your relationship deal-breakers

You can tell by the length of each list that the choice is pretty simple.  I am not suggesting that Mr. Right Now is a creep and Mr. Right is Prince Charming.  Sometimes situations, timing, and our level of self-awareness can make Mr. Right a Mr. Right Now or vice versa.  What I am suggesting is that a relationship with Mr. Right Now is a waste of your time.  He also keeps you from meeting Mr. Right or working on yourself so that you can meet Mr. Right.  

For those of you who would rather be with Mr. Right Now than be alone, I am sorry to have wasted your time.  For everyone else, I assure you that Mr. Right does exist and he is well worth the wait.      

Summer Dating Tips for Ladies

After much anticipation, summer is here.  It's the time that some take much-needed vacations or have extra time to spend with kids who are out of school.  The weather is great and people venture outside to partake of barbecues, beaches, amusement parks, etc.  But this can also be a great time for single ladies to meet new dating prospects!  If you are up to adding a little spice to your summer dating, try these tips:
  

1.  Play a round of golf
Gather up a group of girlfriends and head to the golf course.  While most women are not too fond of this sport, the golf course can be a great place to meet men.  Also, it shows potential mates your willingness to participate in something they like.  If all else fails, you can always flirt with the cute golf pro or caddy!

 

 

2.  Go outside
Take advantage of the weather and spend more time outdoors.  Take a stroll around your neighborhood (or that of a friend), wash your car, or borrow a pet to walk from a friend.  The key is to be alert and friendly when a cute guy passes by.
   

3.  Jump in the game
When you see some guys shooting the basketball around or chasing pop flies, ask to join them (make sure there's no serious game going on).  Even if you have superior athletic ability, it is a good idea to ask them to teach you something.  Guys love to teach and will appreciate your effort.         

4.  Try a swim class  
If you do not know how to swim, it is a great time to learn.  If you do, it's  a great time to hone your skills or get more exercise.  Of course public pools will attract families and kids in the summer, but you can also find single guys getting a reprieve from the heat.  Besides, it gives you an opportunity to dust off and wear your cute swimsuits.      

 

5.  Take an all girls trip
One tried and true way to meet a guy is when you are hanging out with your girlfriends.  I know of countless women who met their mates while on vacation with friends.  You are more likely to be at ease and enjoy yourself, making you approachable and a magnet for guys. 





Last but not least comes a marvelous suggestion from someone I follow on Twitter
(find him here http://twitter.com/@PaulCBrunson and here http://onedegreefrom.me/).  He suggests that ladies should make it a goal to ask out 10 guys this summer.  Your chances are pretty good and you will probably get about 5 dates, because 1 in 2 guys are likely to say yes.

Keep me updated with your progress...

Seniors Find Love Online

Proving that it is never too late to find true love, 90-year-old Molly Holder recently wed a younger 82-year-old Ed Nisbett after meeting on the popular Match.com dating website. 


Although ready to meet her Prince Charming, Molly was cautious and played it safe.  She asked her 41-year-old grandson to chaperone her first date.  And the rest is history.


Read more about the two love birds here: Never Too Late   

Making Your Connections Authentic

I am now a guest blogger over at Stop Stressing Now, a website providing life-changing information to decrease stress and increase overall well-being.  To introduce my new authentic blogging relationship, I would like to refer you to an enlightening article on measuring your life's connections.

Read the Article