Sunday, May 30, 2010

Dealing with Children and Lying

Many parents struggle with understanding the reasons behind the lies that their children tell.  Personally, I have  several friends who are currently questioning whether or not lying is a developmental or environmental issues.  How do you deal with the lies that your children tell and how do you teach them the consequences of lying in a manner that they understand?

Lessons learned

Insightful article about being married for 25 years.

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Marriage Plan

Most major decisions in life require careful and detailed planning: buying a house or car, choosing a college to attend, going on vacation, etc.  Although, many fail to prepare for one of the biggest choices we make in life-getting married.  Watch the following video of Will and Jada Smith discussing their marriage plan.

Do you have a marriage plan?  Or for those of you not married, do you have a relationship plan?  If so, good for you.  Keep up the good work, follow your plan, and update it frequently.  For those without one, these questions/topics should help you and your spouse (or future spouse) create your own plan based on what you both want from the relationship.

This list is very short and is only a beginning to the conversation on how to tailor your own specific plan.  Take the time to discuss these topics (and more) with your partner and refer to it frequently.  It is expected that answers to these questions will change over time.  Continue to foster your friendship and update it as needed.

As always, give me feedback on your opinions and/or experiences with the marriage plan.

Lie Detectors

The other day, I was listening to one of my favorite satellite radio stations when one of the co-hosts was talking about her fiancĂ©e and his bachelor party in Las Vegas.  Listeners were calling in, sending emails and posting on the channel’s Facebook page to tell her stories of what goes on there.  You know, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"...right?

After working herself into a complete and utter panic, once he returned she suggested that he take a lie detector test!?!  And she wanted him to take it live on the air!?!  But of course, he refused.  The other co-hosts were on opposites sides on this one.  The other female on the show agreed and said that she had no problem asking her husband take one.  The male on the show -whom I love BTW- stated that he would NEVER take one and would be offended if asked to do so.  

Despite the fact that lie detector tests have horrible reliability and validity, her insistence that he take one (and in such a public manner, no less) speaks volumes about her INSECURITIES and her INABILITY TO TRUST him.  Also, she said that she would take one also as she had nothing to hide.

IMHO, he should take this situation VERY seriously and think about the decision to marry her.  This is definitely a sign of things to come.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Fireproof (2008)

This movie is a MUST SEE for people in the following categories:

"Friends with benefits"
Has EVER been in a relationship Has NEVER been in a relationship
Will NEVER be in a relationship again

 Rent it this week/weekend and watch with loved ones.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Maintaining a Relationship with Your Ex?

Research reports that between 50-61% of people maintain a friendship with an ex-partner. In addition, 14% of men and 13% of women state that an ex is one of their CLOSEST friends. The decision to remain close to a partner from the past can depend on a few factors:

  • The existence of a friendship before the romance
  • How the break-up occurred (likelihood increases when break-up is initiated by men or is mutual)
In a study of cross-sex (male-female) friendships, researchers found that both men and women were more satisfied in relationships with people whom they HAD NOT previously dated. Relationships with exes had fewer rules, less positive, and more negative outcomes than platonic male-female relationships.

With outcomes like this, why do people continue seeing their exes?
One reason is romantic desire. People are more attracted to those they dated in comparison to those they have not. But, there are some gender differences. Women tend to have higher attraction to an ex than men who have equal attraction to both ex-partners and platonic friends.

Another reason is based on rewards. People keep in contact with exes based what they can get from that person (love, status, money, services, information).
The more satisfied you are with what you get from an ex, the more likely you will continue the relationship.

What does it all mean? Should people maintain relationships with their exes?

72% of men and 74% of women chose partner sexual infidelity with an ex as more devastating than partner sexual infidelity with a stranger. With regard to emotional infidelity, women still rated it distressful, but men not as much.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Pre-Marital Counseling: Yea or Nay?

For those of you who are already married and those who are/would consider marriage, what are your thoughts on pre-marital counseling?

Should it be required for all couples in order to get married?


Is it something that only "troubled" couples need?

A Cry For Help?

Is misbehavior a result of making bad choices or is it a cry for help? Should we hold people

accountable for doing unacceptable, immoral, unethical, or illegal things in order to garner outside attention? According to Jesse James, (estranged husband of Academy Award® winner Sandra Bullock) he was ashamed of his behavior (extramarital affairs) AND was hoping that he would get caught.

So, is bad behavior an act of self-sabotage?

The misbehavior of children is often explained by "acting out" due to attention-seeking, feelings of inadequacy, revenge, or exerting social power. Children garner some leeway depending on their age, cognitive ability and the act they commit. Should we apply the same to adults behaving badly?

Don't forget to watch Good Morning America on Tues., May 25th and Nightline for the full interview.