Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Relationship Safety Schools

Many people who attended college started the application process with at least three schools in mind:

Number 1 = The school we REALLY wanted to attend
Whether it was the alma mater of family or friends, the one with the best reputation for sports, or the one that could catapult us into our career of choice, this school was number one.  In our minds, this was the ultimate college experience which we would make many sacrifices if given the opportunity to attend.

Number 2 = Good, but not the best  
This was also a good school and one in which we could enjoy the next four or so years of our lives.  But, although it was a good choice, it was still not and never would be our #1.

Number 3 = Our Safety School  
This is the college or university in which we were sure to gain admission.  The safe bet, last resort, good old come through if all else fails school.

Our preferences for mates are very similar to our college choices.  There is a hierarchy with which we perceive and treat our partners based on which number they occupy.

Number 1 = This is THE ONE   
This person knocks our socks off and we won't hesitate to make them our primary love interest.  OR The number 1 could be the leader of the pack.  Although we may not have a formal commitment, they take precedence over the others we are dating.

Number 2 = Good, but not good enough 
Our number two love interest has all of the qualities that we want in a mate, but there is something missing. It may be a unwillingness to commit, lack of chemistry, or different goals that keep us from seeing this person as number 1.

Number 3 = Our Safety School
On a Friday or Saturday night when there is nothing else to do, you call this person because you know they will pick up.  They also provide the fruits of an relationship without any real commitment.  We know that if we wanted a relationship from them, they would not hesitate to say, "YES!"

Are you someone's safety school?  Stay tuned for information on how to find out!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Woman Found Dead In Ex- Boyfriends Chimney

The following story is one of the main reasons that I write this blog.  I am hoping to impart information and discussion that may keep people from making decisions such as this.

Apparently, Dr. Jacqueline Kotarac in an attempt to gain access into her ex-boyfriends house, climbed down his chimney.  At some point she became stuck there and died. Making matters worse, her ex allegedly fled the scene and her body was found three days later by a house sitter.

Read the entire story HERE

Instead of discussing the actions and/or mental status of both Dr. Kotarac and her ex, I want to sum up lessons that people should take from this story.
  1. Rejection is life's way of moving the wrong person out of your life so the right person can come in.
  2. No other person is, will be, or should be responsible for your emotional state.  
  3. Relationships are not supposed to cause trauma and pain. 
  4. No person on this Earth is worth your sanity.
  5. A broken relationship is not worth your life. 
  6. EQ (emotional quotient) is just as important, if not more, as IQ (intelligence quotient).
  7. When people show you who they are...believe them!  If they have been wishy-washy with you in good times, expect the same during the bad.
I just had to get those things off my chest as they flooded my head upon reading this story.  I only hope that something on this blog touches someone and causes them to think before acting in a way that could harm them.

R.I.P. Jacqueline 

Continue to create authentic relationships!