Using 7 C's to Be More Authentic

Lately, my mother has been reciting phrases (which include a series of C-words) when talking about situations that she has no control over.  These phrases help her focus, regain her personal rights and be able to say no when confronted with the thoughts or behavior of others.  I found these to be very enlightening and will include them below.

When you find yourself in a situation that you cannot control, tell yourself:

1. I didn't CAUSE it.
2. I can't CURE it.
3. I can't CONTROL it.
4. I can help CARE for myself by COMMUNICATING my feelings,
5. Making healthy CHOICES,
6. And by CELEBRATING myself.

These are coping mechanisms from the National Association for Children of Alcoholics to combat fault and guilt found in children of alcoholics.  In my opinion, we all can adapt these statements to increase our coping with difficult people, stressful situations, and everyday issues that we cannot control.

Recite these everyday until they are memorized, then refer to them in times of need.

Top Five Lies Women Tell Themselves

5.  I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S NEEDS BEFORE MY OWN
It is impossible to properly care for another if you are not cared for yourself.  Women often feel that it is selfish to put themselves before others.  On the contrary, when you make your needs a priority everyone benefits. 

4.  HE WOULD HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL IF I HAD/HADN'T...
You have NO control over someone else, especially their decision to have an affair.  That is a choice that they make on their own.  Even if they considered you in the decision to be unfaithful, there was nothing you could have done to keep them from acting on it.

3.  MY CHILDREN WON'T LIKE ME IF I DISCIPLINE THEM
It is not okay to be your child's friend first.  Children need limits, boundaries, guidance and discipline from their parents.  Those who don't get them will manipulate and later have little respect for their parents. 

2.  HE DIDN'T CALL BECAUSE HE WAS...  
     (too busy, tired, emotionally unavailable, intimidated by me, etc.)
He didn't call because he did not want to.  Period, end of story.  And no you didn't "do anything wrong", he just didn't feel a connection with you.  Because if he did, your phone would not stop ringing! 

1.  I AM JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Good enough for what?  for who?  Who says? It is imperative that you recognize your all of your strengths and the areas in which you succeed.  Despite stress, negative situations, and other people's opinions be good enough for the most important person...YOU!