Waiting for Superdad...

SUPERDAD

Recently, I gave my class an assignment to discuss some of the gender inequalities that exist in parent responsibility.  We watched media examples and discussed the plight of Supermom - a woman who does it all...working full-time, then coming home to respond to the needs of the entire household.  As I added questions to our class discussion board, I noticed that the word "Superdad" (the assignment was to describe Superdad and explain why we have no media images of him) was flagged by the spell-checker.  No word processing software on my computer recognized this word.  

Understandably so, as there is no definition for Superdad.  We don't discuss him and most of us don't even know him.  Although there are Superdads found all over the globe, most of us don't expect to see him or know of his existence in our own community.  We continually place the extra household and parenting duties in mom's lap and attribute them to her whether dad participates or not.  As a result, when parenting distress signals go out into the sky, they are mostly met by the swift feet of Supermom.  While Supermom is great, many children lack additional critical elements of development as they are left waiting...waiting for Superdad. 

My suggestion is for all Superdads, children of Superdads, or those waiting for Superdad to speak up and call attention to the vital role that fathers play in the development of their children. It is time that dads are given appropriate responsibilities and the opportunity to shoulder the many family duties mom has historically been responsible for.  Let's hold those less than Superdads' feet to the fire and encourage them to live up to the standards set by our Supermoms.  Then one day, hopefully...millions of children can stop waiting for Superdad.

People Lie on their Online Dating Profiles?!?

Check out this story on how many people lie on online profiles and what they are lying about.  Pretty interesting...

Book of Odds - Here's a Shocker: People Lie on their Online Dating Profiles

Does Premarital Sex Increase Risk for Extramarital Sex?

Research suggests that contemporary Americans are growing more and more accepting of premarital sex.  As social mores around sex become more relaxed, people view premarital sex as part of the dating process.  Even the most conservative, while not in full agreement, have become accustomed to the notion that sex occurs before marriage for the majority of the population.

Although chastity belts may have loosened, most will agree that extramarital affairs are a no-no.  With widespread media attention on the extramarital affairs of celebrities, athletes and political figures, society shakes a condescending finger at infidelity.  Also, unknown to many are laws in some states that not only view infidelity as illegal, but can make an unfaithful partner and/or third party liable for damages.    

What may be most shocking is how the two relate.  Some research associates the rise in marital infidelity to the widespread practice of premarital sex.  Researchers purport that numerous relationships and sexual partners before marriage can relate to an individuals' propensity to be unfaithful once married.  Having many partners before marriage makes monogamy difficult as we have become used to being with more than one person.

  

          

Relationship Safety Schools

Many people who attended college started the application process with at least three schools in mind:

Number 1 = The school we REALLY wanted to attend
Whether it was the alma mater of family or friends, the one with the best reputation for sports, or the one that could catapult us into our career of choice, this school was number one.  In our minds, this was the ultimate college experience which we would make many sacrifices if given the opportunity to attend.

Number 2 = Good, but not the best  
This was also a good school and one in which we could enjoy the next four or so years of our lives.  But, although it was a good choice, it was still not and never would be our #1.

Number 3 = Our Safety School  
This is the college or university in which we were sure to gain admission.  The safe bet, last resort, good old come through if all else fails school.

Our preferences for mates are very similar to our college choices.  There is a hierarchy with which we perceive and treat our partners based on which number they occupy.

Number 1 = This is THE ONE   

This person knocks our socks off and we won't hesitate to make them our primary love interest.  OR The number 1 could be the leader of the pack.  Although we may not have a formal commitment, they take precedence over the others we are dating.

Number 2 = Good, but not good enough 

Our number two love interest has all of the qualities that we want in a mate, but there is something missing. It may be a unwillingness to commit, lack of chemistry, or different goals that keep us from seeing this person as number 1.

Number 3 = Our Safety School

On a Friday or Saturday night when there is nothing else to do, you call this person because you know they will pick up.  They also provide the fruits of an relationship without any real commitment.  We know that if we wanted a relationship from them, they would not hesitate to say, "YES!"

Are you someone's safety school?  Stay tuned for information on how to find out!