Children Who Abuse Parents

The number of children who abuse their parents is small yet significant.  According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics more than 9,000 crimes of violence against parents (3,380 completed acts and 5,750 threats) occurred in 2007.

Parental abuse, also called silent abuse, often goes unreported due to the shame and guilt felt by abused parents.  Parents feel they cannot reveal this family secret because their child may be punished/taken from the home and their parenting skills may be questioned.  The vast majority of parental abuse involves a male child abusing his mother or stepmother.  Abuse usually begins when the child is 12-16 years old and severity depends on the child's strength.  Stronger children rely on verbal abuse (threats, intimidation, manipulation) whereas weaker children use more physical forms (biting, hitting, kicking). 

 

Research highlights contributors to parental abuse:

- Role models of masculinity based on power and control

- Witnessing a father/partner/male abuse women

- Children who were physically or sexually abused themselves

- Controlling or overly indulgent parenting practices

- Poverty or extreme poverty

- High levels of stress

- Mental health issues (schizophrenia, bipolar, ADD, learning disabilities)

- Substance abuse

- Children who had been bullied by peers

What can parents do if their children become violent?

Safety - The first priority is safety for the parent and the child.  Parents should seek a safe environment just like any victim of an abusive situation.  

Seek help - It is important to resist the urge to keep the abuse a secret and/or feel responsible for the behavior.  Parental abuse is not going to disappear on its own and there is a high likelihood that it will increase. Qualified professionals can intervene and provide crisis management.  

Be patient - Repairing the parental-child relationship will take time. Parents will need to process their own emotions about the abuse while children receive necessary intervention.  Have realistic goals of how and when the relationship will get better.

Resources:

Local Sheriff's Office or Extension office: http://www.csrees.usda.gov/Extension/

National Domestic Violence Hotline http://www.ndvh.org/

Source: Adolescent to Parent Abuse 

A Disturbing New Trend?

With numerous recent examples in the news, it appears that the murder-suicide rate among couples is on the rise.  Unfortunately, there is no database which tracks the incidence of murder-suicide in the U.S but many studies have focused on this devastating phenomenon.  It is estimated that between 1000-1500 murder-suicide deaths occur each year, equaling about 10 per week.  Although variation in reporting and details exist, there are some commonalities found in this heinous crime.

According to the Violence Policy Center and Eliason (2009):
92% of murder-suicides involve a gun
94% of perpetrators are men
74% of murder-suicides involve an intimate partner
        (96% of intimate partner victims are women)
75% of murder-suicides occur in the home
When there are 3+ victims, the perpetrator is usually male
Most perpetrators are older than their victims by at least 6.3 years
Females will kill their children and then themselves
Males will kill their children, their partner, and then themselves
Current/previous law enforcement officers have higher rates
Substance abuse is less likely in murder-suicides than other murders
Perpetrators have low risk of previous criminal behavior
Estrangement (break-up, divorce, separation) is a common factor
Perpetrators are more depression than other murderers
Domestic violence is common in murder-suicides between intimate partners

States with higher rates of murder-suicide (2005):

• Pennsylvania & Texas - 18 each
• California - 17
• Florida - 15
• North Carolina - 14
• Tennessee - 11

Although shocking, the rates of murder-suicide are not on the rise.  These stories are receiving more media coverage, but overall rates remain low in comparison to other murders and violence crimes.

According to the National Institute of Justice, those at risk for murder-suicides have a history of domestic violence (biggest predictor), access to a firearm, and history of threatening statements and/or behavior.