Self-esteem: Not Just A Woman's Problem

Researchers have found that both women and men have similar levels of self-esteem during adolescence and young adulthood.  

Instead of gender as a factor, differences in self-esteem are found when comparing people of different racial/ethnic categories.


The result of this research has many implications for parents, teachers, and clinicians who have historically attributed lower self-esteem to women and girls.  The lack of a gender separation in self-esteem can shed light on determinants of behavior for men and boys.  Also, more research can examine how racial and ethnic differences attribute to a young persons level of self-esteem.


To read the entire article, click HERE

Cohabitation: Marital Test-Drive or Highway to Divorce?

In today's society cohabitation is seen by many as a just another step in the dating process.  You meet someone, date for a while, move in together, get married, have kids...
While others hold to religious, moral, or personal views of cohabitation as sinful or an alternative to traditional marriage.  


Is choosing to live together before or instead of getting married better?  With most other major life decisions there is a trial run.  We get to test drive a car, inspect a house, visit a college all before making major decisions.  Can it be possible to do the same with a partner without living together?  First, let's look at some interesting facts about cohabitation.   

Researchers have conducted numerous studies and many statistics abound on the prevalence, success and length of cohabitating relationships:  

• First marriages last longer than cohabiting relationships 
• 65% of cohabiting couples transition to marriage within 5 years
• 52% of non-marital births occur in cohabiting unions
• Cohabiting couples report lower levels of relationship quality and lower income
• Cohabitation increases risk for divorce
• Age is also factor
• People 18-19 are more likely to live together
• People 25-44 are more likely to marry

Cohabitation appears to have negative outcomes in comparison to marriage.  But, there are other ways to "test drive" living with a partner without actually living with them.
Taking an extended vacation (especially a cruise) can reveal a partner's living habits.  Rotating "sleep-overs" throughout the week gives an opportunity to see one another in their natural habitat.  Also, premarital counseling can identify possible areas of future concern that could surface when two people reside in the same household.      


In light of the statistics, is it a good idea to take your partner for a "test drive" before making a lifelong commitment?  


Source: (CDC) Marriage and Cohabitation in the U.S.

Your Sexual Behaviors May Not Keep You Safe

According to the Centers for Disease Control (2008):
     19 million STD cases each year, almost 50% are in people aged 15-24
     Chlamydia and gonorrhea are most commonly reported
     Syphilis (virtually absent 10 years ago) is on the rise
     Despite vaccine, human papillomavirus (HPV) rates increasing in those 18-59
     
Engaging in risky behaviors (i.e., improper use or no use of contraceptives, multiple sex partners) increases risk for contracting a STD.  Although, people who practice "safer" sex may be at an even greater risk as a result of their partners behavior.  Researchers report that partner sexual behavior is a bigger predictor of STD risk than individual behavior. 


Partner characteristics that increase STD risk:

• Marijuana and alcohol use
• Age difference of 5 years (older or younger)
• History of jail/imprisonment
• Other sexual partners in the past year
• Having an STD in the past year

The more of the above characteristics, the higher risk for STDs.  Participants whose partners had all five were 3 times more likely to have an STD.  Overall, having an STD and age difference were the biggest predictors of STD risk.  


If you practice "safer" sex and are in a monogamous relationship, you may still be at risk, especially if your partner a) falls in the above categories & b) is dishonest about his/her behaviors.


Source: Partner Behavior and STD Risk

Love at First Sight

A recent study reports that women are less likely to experience "love at first sight" in comparison to men.

Researchers hypothesized that men are more likely to fall in love in the early stages of a relationship, in part to signal commitment to a female partner. 

Women likely to fall in love at first sight were those with high sex drives and/or those who were highly attracted to partners. Overall, both men and women who placed great value on attractiveness and sex were more likely to experience love at first sight. 

The results of this study demonstrate that the idea of “love at first sight” may actually be “lust at first sight.”

Maintaining a Relationship with Your Ex?

Research reports that between 50-61% of people maintain a friendship with an ex-partner. In addition, 14% of men and 13% of women state that an ex is one of their CLOSEST friends. The decision to remain close to a partner from the past can depend on a few factors:

• The existence of a friendship before the romance
• How the break-up occurred (likelihood increases when break-up is initiated by men or is mutual)

In a study of cross-sex (male-female) friendships, researchers found that both men and women were more satisfied in relationships with people whom they HAD NOT previously dated. Relationships with exes had fewer rules, less positive, and more negative outcomes than platonic male-female relationships.

With outcomes like this, why do people continue seeing their exes?

One reason is romantic desire. People are more attracted to those they dated in comparison to those they have not. But, there are some gender differences. Women tend to have higher attraction to an ex than men who have equal attraction to both ex-partners and platonic friends.

Another reason is based on rewards. People keep in contact with exes based what they can get from that person (love, status, money, services, information).

The more satisfied you are with what you get from an ex, the more likely you will continue the relationship.

What does it all mean? Should people maintain relationships with their exes?

72% of men and 74% of women chose partner sexual infidelity with an ex as more devastating than partner sexual infidelity with a stranger. With regard to emotional infidelity, women still rated it distressful, but men not as much.

Exes-worth it or not?