I Can Forgive, But I Won't Forget...

I heard this statement during a conversation with a family member after hearing a sermon on forgiveness.  My pastor spoke on its true meaning and stated that in order to be forgiven for our sins, we must forgive the sins of others.  The concept is simple enough, but the action proves to be one of the most difficult tasks faced in a relationship.

Disappointment and heartache encountered in relationships are often the direct result of another persons actions.  An unfaithful partner, a scheming friend, an absent parent, or a disrespectful child can test our patience and willingness to forgive.  When we are betrayed, the event lingers in our minds and can appear in random thoughts.  We may even dream about the incident and how we could, would, or should have reacted.  Our spirits are scarred.  On those occasions that we are able to forgive, the above mantra rings true..."I can forgive, but I won't forget."

Forgiveness is necessary when we are wronged and is the basis for maintaining authentic relationships.  To truly forgive, we must also forget.  In order for healing to occur, the event and any negative feelings about the offender should be free from our thoughts.  True forgiveness is not meant for the offender, but for the offended.  Therefore, forgetting is a key step in the pathway to forgiveness.

In order to forget, we must understand the true meaning of forgiveness.   

Forgiveness of others IS NOT:

• An acceptance of the behavior
• A license to be offended again
• A sign of weakness

Forgiveness of others IS: 

• An expression of self-love
• A necessary step toward healing
• The only way YOU will be forgiven in the future 

Try forgiving and forgetting those who offend(ed) you.  Most likely they have moved on and don't remember or care what they did.  Shouldn't you enjoy the same freedom?  


   

Woman Found Dead In Ex- Boyfriends Chimney

The following story is one of the main reasons that I write this blog.  I am hoping to impart information and discussion that may keep people from making decisions such as this.


Apparently, Dr. Jacqueline Kotarac in an attempt to gain access into her ex-boyfriends house, climbed down his chimney.  At some point she became stuck there and died. Making matters worse, her ex allegedly fled the scene and her body was found three days later by a house sitter.

Read the entire story HERE

Instead of discussing the actions and/or mental status of both Dr. Kotarac and her ex, I want to sum up lessons that people should take from this story.

1. Rejection is life's way of moving the wrong person out of your life so the right person can come in.
2. No other person is, will be, or should be responsible for your emotional state.  
3. Relationships are not supposed to cause trauma and pain. 
4. No person on this Earth is worth your sanity.
5. A broken relationship is not worth your life. 
6. EQ (emotional quotient) is just as important, if not more, as IQ (intelligence quotient).
7. When people show you who they are...believe them!  If they have been wishy-washy with you in good times, expect the same during the bad.

I just had to get those things off my chest as they flooded my head upon reading this story.  I only hope that something on this blog touches someone and causes them to think before acting in a way that could harm them.

R.I.P. Jacqueline 

Continue to create authentic relationships!